Are... you... ready!!!!!

It's about time I launched this damn thing. Yes, friends... welcome to "The Tovies"....

We are a mere 48-hours away from the mother of all spectacles - the Oscar red carpet - and I can't wait! While I expect this year to be rather tame with most stars playing it "safe"... strapless... one-shoulder... jeweled tones... damn grecian (the look that NEVER seems to die), I do look forward to a few of those ladies who always seem to get us talking.

Will Angelina ditch her date, Brad, for one of the octuplets? Will Cameron get her roots did? Will Bai Ling make it out of the slammer in time to horrify us with another tacky ensemble? Most importantly: will Hugh Jackman host the Oscars shirtless? Oooops. Sorry. I digress.

So buckle your seatbelts and sharpen your tongues! We're on to the big game!